Though writing is my first love, cosmetology is a close second, which is fortunate because it’s also my day job.


Unlike my other blog, Hummuscidal Maniac, I don’t discuss politics or share vegan recipes here as my goal is to create a welcoming space for potential clients.

However, if you’re a prohibitionist, transphobe, homophobe, racist, bigot, mysogynist, or otherwise a dickwad, we can’t hang. I don’t even want you as a client. Spend your money elsewhere getting a boring-ass circa 1996 “Rachel” cut, wearing skorts, and being pathetic. #BitchBye

This page is for showcasing cosmetologists’ work, ‪#‎Hairspiration‬ ‪#‎tHAIRapy‬ sessions, beauty tips and tutorials, and weed memes. You’re welcome 😉

My Journey to Cosmetology:

Couldn’t hack it as a drug dealer (kept blowing up my meth barn), don’t have the work ethic to be a prostitute, and too fat for astronaut school, so here I am.

#JK 😉

I’ve had a lifelong passion for glamour and grew up idolizing Kevyn Aucoin. Later, as a cosmetology student, I studied my “bible”, i.e.; Face Forward, daily.

I also read a lot of toxic periodicals setting unrealistic standards for beauty, praising thinness and eurocentric features, and featuring bullshit articles like “natural makeup men love”, and “concealing” so-called “problem skin”.

There will be no talk of what’s flattering or not here, nor will there be a flying furry fuck regarding what men prefer. Hair and beauty products are for fun for ALL genders and not an obligation. No one owes beauty to the world.

There will also be no talk of “redefining beauty” here, strike that phrase from your lexicon unless you’re okay with being an insufferable, ignorant, fuckstick because we’ve been beautiful all along; we ain’t “redefining” shit, we’re simply demanding the well-earned respect the conventionally beautiful have had all along.